Hyped up and let down...

About a week ago I was reading a morning devotional from the book Devotions for the Beach & Days You Wish You were There by Thomas Nelson about crisis.  The title of the devotional was "Are you worried about a crisis?"  At that moment, the title was enough to capture more than my attention.  

At work, my team had learned that a critical team member was taking a new job.  In addition, we spent an hour mapping out his roles and duties.  With each  new item my heart raced.  I began to think about all of the ways I depended on his expertise at work.  I began to nervously imagine a crisis occurring where I wouldn't be able to solve it.  On top of this issue, the product team that I manage, was facing a host of quality issues.  Some of the issues were very real, others were imagined or user induced.  In any case I felt a storm brewing and I was in full "fear and flight" mode.  I was snapping, angry, anxious, frustrated, worried and desperate.  When the title of rolled into my inbox I was ripe for the plucking.  

I read on through the devotional and I stopped at this section:

We get hyped up about situations and conversations, just knowing they're going to be awful. Especially if we're the one who has messed up.

This kind of thought process is defeating. We assume that we already know the outcome, as though we can read minds and predict the future.


"Defeating" and "assume" were the key words for me.  In my mind I had created a huge mountain of issues and responses.  I had concocted every scenario from wiping out my team to save my hide, to being wiped out to save theirs.  I imagined hateful emails and bad reviews from my boss, and cold calls from the sales team about impacting numbers.  I envisioned unhappy customers and confused and frustrated employees.  By the time I arrived at these words my "assumption" factory was in full force and full scale production.  My heart and chest hurt like a finger caught in an anvil.  For days I was assuming the worst, and for days the worst case "cataclysmic failure" had not occurred.  Did things go well?  Not quite?  Did my career end?  No, and it won't even if my job does.  What was the change?


Well, the change is ongoing, but it started with reading the rest of the devotional and trying to live by it.  

We can prepare for certain conditions and should. If God knows our steps, however, then we also need to trust Him with our path. We may even realize how much time we've wasted building up this situation in our heads instead of praying for wisdom and words.

So much can be defused by sincerely saying, "I messed up, and I'm sorry. Is there something I can do to help at this point?"

In the case of work, realizing that I messed up will be a big help.  I'm also planning to do the second part of the advice from this devotional:

Before building a crisis in your head, stop the rush of thoughts, and pray.

Pray for peace, pray for wisdom, and pray for words. Ask God to calm your anxiety and guide you.

This morning I took a moment to ask God about my worries and I'm also trying to constantly focus my thoughts on the positive and promises of God.  I'm sure this isn't the last time I get hyped up and then realize it was for nothing.  In fact, as I write I am reminded that I got all hyped up about financial concerns and bank balances yesterday - but the world is still turning and I'm still in my own home.  


Moving back from the edge of exageration mountain will be hard, but it is already promising to be worth it.  Pray for me as I pray for you, that God will give us peace, wisdom, words and direction to guard and guide our anxious hearts.  Until at least we rest in Him,


With love (& in triumph)