God is amazing.
Over the last nine months, Trish and I have been on an amazing, exciting, and challenging journey. If you are quick, you already know about the journey. Yes, nine months ago we got the news that we were expecting our sixth child. It was news that we weren't really expecting, and I'm not entirely certain we were prepared to hear. Yet, we heard it and it started a journey that I hope we will never forget. I know it is one that we will never regret.
We experienced a whole range of emotions; fear, joy, sadness, frustration, anxiety, anger, disappointment, happiness, wonder, awe, and peace. We experienced some of these emotions on the same day. For example, as Trish returned one day from the doctor, I peppered her with questions. "What did the doctor say? How was the ultrasound? Did they run any tests?" And by any tests, I was trying to figure out why the doctor felt adamant about checking for birth defects with Ava, but not now. My questioning came from fear. I was afraid that we were too old to have another child. I was even afraid that we might have a miscarriage. I have two friends who were going through just that kind of pain. As I was nearly drowning in fear a word of prayer came to mind from the psalms. When I'm afraid, I trust in you (Psalm 56:3). Wow! That did the trick for this season. There was this amazing peace that came over me. I realized that no matter what happened with this baby and this pregnancy, I was going to trust in God.
I'd love to say that this was the only episode of fear, but that would not be truthful. Instead, fear and peace, joy and sadness, anxiety and calm, worry and trust, anger and gladness have been in constant tension throughout the nine month journey. There were days when I wondered if we were both too old, if we had enough energy, money, or square footage. Some days the state of the world scared me to tears, while other days the reports of mishaps, miscarriages, and health scares nearly crushed me. But, as this blog is named, God has given me a Life of Triumph. No matter how dark the days seemed, God gave us victory and I can truly say that joy, trust, peace and love won the battle overall.
And, after a nine month journey we welcomed Emma Grace to our family of disciples on March 12th. She is simply beautiful. Her delivery was amazing. Even as fear rose, joy and peace rose higher and higher.
Trish and Emma are both doing well and resting as much as possible with a new born. There is so much I learned about myself, my fears, and my need for a deeper (less stuff related) relationship with God. I may have realized on this journey that I'm not who I want to be, but I also realize that I'm not who I used to be either.
God is amazing!
