Mom’s question, my incomplete answer

“How do best like to think of God?” And  “What is He to you?”  My mom placed this question in our family text group.  I tried to answer it right away.  I tried for nearly two or three days, and as I got going I realized that in my life this was a very complicated and long answer.  In fact, it is a long and incomplete answer, but here goes:

Mostly when I'm down and hurt, feeling alone or lonely— I experience God as my Comforter and Friend, my Counselor, my Avenger (the one who will avenge my hurt or betrayal), and my Hope (someone to cry out to and lean on).

When I'm confused, need guidance and help, or I feel lost— I experience God as my Shepherd (seeking me and leading me) and my Guide (directing me and giving me wisdom). 

When I am fearful, worried, anxious, and afraid— I experience the Characteristics of God such as Protector, Guard, Savior, Fortress/Shelter, Defender, and Peace (He reminds me to rest, relax, and be still).  I like to think of God as my shelter from the storm, my tower where I can run to, and as my giant slaying, demon destroying, death defeating super her Big Brother who will fight my enemies, vanquish my foes, and crush/conquer everything else that has me afraid and in fear.  [Side note: My brother Vincent, on a humanly speaking level, has been this type of big brother for me when I was a child and in college.]

When I'm stressed and overwhelmed, falling beneath the weight of life's responsibilities, or the pressures of work, or just under the weight of expectations (others and my own as a husband, father, dad, sibling, uncle, son, nephews, pastor wanna be, dreamer, etc)— I experience Him as my Burden bearer, Friend, Companion, and Helper (don't know why, but the image of an otherworldly beast of burden (ox) comes to mind).

When I'm sick or someone else is sick—  I experience Him more as my Healer, Deliver, Maker and Creator, my Hope and my Strength. I experience God as my family’s Healer and the One who restores their health and their souls.  

Right or wrong, there are times when I do wrong and realize that it was a blatant sin (the kind where you outright ignore God telling you "no", "stop", "don't ") in these moments I experience Him first as my Judge (as a fair and just Judge, but sometimes an angry and disappointed Judge), but thankfully even after I see Him as my Judge I also see Him as my Justifier and as my Salvation.   [It might take me a while to get from seeing the Judge and then accepting Him as Justifier, even lover of my soul.]

As I keep thinking about it, I must admit that the longer I reflected on the question of "how I like to see Him" and as I work to type out my thoughts, I realize two things: 

(1) Sadly there are far too many times in my life when things are going super well, that I don't think about God, look for Him, or see Him at all. I look right past Him, forget all His goodness, and take Him completely and totally for granted. Sadly, the good times that should make me thankful and joyful, full of praise and worship for God, makes me blind to the truth that “all things come from God” and that His hand gave me these things to enjoy and to be grateful

(2) Even sadder is the truth that in far too many things and in far too many ways I have never seen God for who He is and who He wants to be in my life and in my world.  As I reflected on this question, I definitely see how good God has been to me.  I have liked to see Him in many ways.  He has been many great and wonderful things to me and for me, and I my life.  But, as I type I realize God has always wanted to be my I AM.  He has wanted to be my First Love.  He has wanted to be my God and my LORD.  He has wanted to be GOD over every need, every circumstance, every situation, and — well every single thing.  I may never know and experience all of God’s character on this side of heaven, but GOD wants me to start with Him as “I AM”

Momma, deeply indebted to you for asking the question and reminding me to seek Him first and let Him be my “I AM!” 

When you are naked before God, you are in the safest palace you could be

“The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?"

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."

But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." 

‭‭John‬ ‭8:3-5, 7, 9-11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

There is a beauty in this passage, more precious than gold and silver, rubies and diamonds.

She was found naked (buck naked, booty out, clothes off naked). She was taken from the bedroom, or brothel, and thrown at the feet of Christ by her accusers and His enemies. 

[Side note: When you are naked or desperate, facing a life or death uncertainty, being persecuted or attacked, or being embarrassed by accusations and enemies— the best place to be is at the feet of Jesus].  

They said, the law says to stone her. They said she deserved death. They said!  Funny how “they” will always say something about your dirt, but not theirs. Funny how “they” will throw you in the dirt for doing the same dirt!  They said, “Jesus— so what’cha gonna do playboy!”  

In that moment, they probably expected Christ to grab the jagged stone near His hands and unleash a fury of stones on her. In that moment, they probably expected Jesus to be like the guy in Mulan and say, “You know the law!” 

In that moment, they probably expected Jesus to be like Scar when he spoke to the hyenas, “Kill him!”

But as they waited with hateful breath and murderous condemnation, He waited. When the moment got intense... Christ flipped the table like a game of spades gone wrong. 

He “turned things upside down with unexpected, undeserved grace.”  Christ flipped things on their heads with a divine and unnerving, yet “incredible ability to demonstrate grace without undermining our call to live lives that please God.”  

In that moment , He offered the gift of forgiveness and grace, not just to the woman, but to all her accusers and even His. In that moment, He put love and forgiveness right up against the call to walk in purity, and holiness— the call to let sin rule us no more. In that moment , when she (like us) was most fearful of death and that painfully, Christ demonstrated the love that God has for us even in our lowest moments— when we stand before Him completely naked, not even a fig leaf! 

[Side note: Isn’t it amazing that we find forgiveness in the moment when all of our sins, our everything is laid bare before God and we have nothing to hide. Isn’t it amazing that in this passage she is naked and unashamed in front of the One who walked in the Garden when Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. Unconfessed sin robs us of the freedom to be fully known and fully loved].

“People tend to lean to one extreme when it comes to our wrongs— and that is judgment,” including myself, but Christ Jesus offers us a different way— the way of forgiveness and compassion, grace and mercy, identity and real love, wholeness and holiness, the way empowered by the power of the Holy Spirit to live a life free from the fear, pull, and condemnation of sin. 

If you are struggling to receive God’s forgiveness and grace for past sin, if you have been harboring thoughts about your past failures keeping you from the fierce nearness and love of Christ, surrender to God in prayer today and hear Him say to you, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."

‭‭John‬ ‭8:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/59/jhn.8.11.esv

Jesus gives conviction and forgiveness, not condemnation!