On Sunday I had a break through moment like never before. It was one of those moments you see in other people of faith but never quite see in yourself. It was the kind of thing you pray for over and over but never actually see it working out for you. Yet, this time it did.
For whatever reason, I know the reason, I was in a mood on Sunday morning. It wasn't my best mood either. My feelings had been hurt, feathers ruffled and rights and denied. I tried praying and letting it go, but it seemed I had Velcro hands all morning. As I left the house to go to church I began to moan about how things were going. I was actually complaining to God. It was loud and in hindsight childish and embarrassing. But he listened. He listened to me go on about hurt feelings, rights that were denied, how could this happen again, why this and why that. And then he asked, "how is this helping?"
What, I said, what did you say?. He said again, "how is this helping?" This was the kind of revelation you pray for but are never ready to actually hear the answer. God asked, how was all of my griping and complaining helping the situation, helping me, helping the ones who hurt me or helping my family. I was speechless. I realized the truth of it all was that all of my bickering was not going to help anyone. It was especially not going to help me. Over the next few minutes God continued to work me over in answer to my prayer.
He went on and challenged me by asking, "what are you going to do?" It wasn't the kind of question we ask ourselves when we want a way out. This was the question of, what are you going to do: keep complaining or make a positive change. In my truck on I-26 I remembered the Son (and the sun shine) and I resolved to drop my end of the rope, quit complaining about what had taken place and forgive.
So next time someone violates me, I hope I will remember to forgive first. But if not, if I start complaining again I hope God will break in on my pity party and ask - "How is this helping?"
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